I have confidence! #30in30
It’s no secret that I have confidence issues. They have the tendency to suffocate me sometimes, paralyzing my writing. My pregnant dreams are just patiently waiting to be born. They’ve been trying to come out, but my lack of confidence has had them breached inside me, sending them into distress. Now is the time for them to crown and be born for the world to see. It’s not an easy thing to overcome, but it has to be done.
The Sound Of Music is one of my all time favorite movies. I live for Froilan Maria. Whenever I hear her sing, “I Have Confidence,” I’m forced to sing along with her. However, this “#30in30” challenge forced me to closely look at the lyrics. From the Abbey to the von Trapp house, Maria sang about her doubts and fears about going to live with a captain to care for him and his seven children. I’m going to take Maria’s advice and have confidence in myself.
Below, I examine the lyrics of “I Have Confidence” and talk about how they’re personal to me:
What will this day be like / I wonder / What will my future be/ I wonder / It could be so exciting to be out in the world / To be free / My heart should be wildly rejoicing / Oh what’s the matter with me
I love writing. It’s hard, but I love it. Honestly, writing for a career never crossed my mind until I graduated college. Now that it’s something I’m going after, it scares me. What if I fail? What if I never get published? What the heck is wrong with me? As you can see, my mind is forever running rampant.
I just want to be free. Free from this mental bondage of thinking that my writing and voice is inconsequential. It’s crippling and, frankly, it’s time to move on. I long for the days when I can rejoice in knowing that my future is bright.
I’ve always longed for adventure / To do the things I’ve never dared / And here I’m facing adventure / Then why am I so scared
Some of you might be thinking, “Dreana, why are you scared?” To be honest, I have no idea. Like Maria said, this adventure—writing—has been something I’ve longed for yet that little voice in the back of my head keeps telling me to just give up. Oh, you dirty dog, you!
I’m sure I’m not the only person who gets scared when embarking on something new in life. Being a little apprehensive is normal.
A captain with seven children / What’s so fearsome about that
My seven children are more than the 30 blogs in 30 days challenge. Writing isn’t something that just happens over night. It takes time, blood, sweat, tears, am everything else in between to write. Writers write everyday and that’s the bottom line.
Oh, I must stop these doubts, all these worries / If I don’t I just know I’ll turn back / I must dream of the things I am seeking / I am seeking the courage I lack
While not knowing how this career path will turn out for me, what I’m even more terrified of is never attempting to see if I can make it as a writer.. I cannot stay on this road called life if I continue looking back. I’m staying on this road seeing this journey all the way to the end.
The courage to serve them with reliance / Face my mistakes without defiance / Show them I’m worthy / And while I show them / I’ll show me
Like Maria, courage is what I am seeking and I know that it has to come from within. I know I’m worthy and I know that I’m a good writer. However, I must continuously believe in myself. More than showing YOU I’m worthy, it’s more about showing MYSELF that I’m worthy. After all, I have to live with myself for the rest of my life.
So, let them bring on all their problems / I’ll do better than my best / I have confidence they’ll put me to the test / But I’ll make them see I have confidence in me
Since deciding to start this writing journey I’m always told that editors want new writers. And guess what, they can tell from your writing when there is a lack of confidence. Being assertive is a must. No one wants to read something by a writer whose confidence is non-existent or are weak as overcooked pasta. Again, if I don’t have confidence and it shows in my writing, why should an editor trust me with an editorial? This is why having confidence is imperative.
Somehow I will impress them / I will be firm but kind / And all those children (Heaven bless them!) / They will look up to me
I can’t expect someone to look up to me when I don’t even look up to me. OUCH! I won’t lie, that hurt a little.
And mind me with each step I am more certain / Everything will turn out fine / I have confidence the world can all be mine / They’ll have to agree I have confidence in me
It’s about conditioning myself. When a runner is training for a marathon, they don’t just start with 26 miles. Instead, they pace themselves everyday. Evolving takes time. I’m going to appreciate this journey and embrace everything I learn. I’m decreeing and declaring that I will be a writer!
I have confidence in sunshine / I have confidence in rain / I have confidence that spring will come again / Besides which you see I have confidence in me
Getting started and regimenting myself is going to be hard, but I know that sun shines after the rain. More importantly, my writing will exude confidence. It will shine through.
Strength doesn’t lie in numbers / Strength doesn’t lie in wealth / Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers / When you wake up — Wake up!
Quality trumps quantity any day. However in writing, quantity helps increase the quality of your writing. Remember when I said writers write? The ONLY way to improve your writing is to write. It doesn’t happen by osmosis. Writing is a muscle and when left sedentary, you lose strength. In this case, your writing suffers.
It tells me all I trust I lead my heart to / All I trust becomes my own / I have confidence in confidence alone (Oh help!)
In my heart, I know that I’m doing the right thing. It would be a disservice to myself if I went through life having the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. I can’t go on not knowing if I could have been a writer. Oh confidence, where are you!
I have confidence in confidence alone / Besides which you see I have confidence in me!
No matter what, I know that confidence lies within me. It’s just waiting for me to realize it.
While I need confidence in my writing, I don’t want it to stop with my writing. I want to have more confidence in every aspect of my life. It’s more than improving my writing; it’s about improving my quality of life.
I know that I’m not the only one who suffers from lack of confidence. I hope being honest about my insecurity helps you with yours.
Andreana
